Stony reflection, leafy moments, roots
0 Comments Published by rizumu on Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 3:24 PM.
I have made the choice.
To clean up some important bits of my life.
Gambling. Drugs. No they are not it. I have cleared those ages ago. Don't worry.
I think we all carry baggages, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, we just chuck into the store room (in our case, mind) and leave it at that. The blockage is never cleared, merely filtered because you change a new one. But can we buy ourselves new filters? We're all we have really when you think about it. I say, it is our responsibility therefore to clean it up ourselves. We know the saying it's all dead when the shit hits the fan. Well, same case here. Don't go there.
I think if there is anything about me, is that I'm too nice. I don't stand firm enough at times and always believe in the better of the person or situation. I still believe in that but I know that I have been jaded before but now, with maturity, I see things in a more focused view. No wishy washy bullcrap anymore, that's all. Fair and sound.
I have decided to throw all all materials that have no emotional value anymore to me. Because, I am a person who is highly emotional, the things I keep tend to stir things back to the wrong heart. No, I am not craving for any past relationship at all. It's just that I realize, why keep them when they don't mean anything anymore. So yeah, everything is going to be thrown away. Or burnt by popular choice award but yea I feel that's my choice and need.
I thought about it clear and through. I don't want to carry anymore of this for terming it as 'sentimental value' because I think it's utter rubbish now. We're suppose to live in the present not the past and if I have all these stuff chucked aside somewhere, why keep it in the first place if you don't feel anything for it. Unless you do? Then I knew the answer.
Stalker S is pissing the hell out of me with her random sms-es during the wee hours of the morning. Mysterious caller does the same thing every now then. Mysterious A4 girl who leaves notes on my car when I go to the gym. Like seriously, what the hell man! I am quite up to here where people just laugh about it and think it's all cool. Well, it's not all cool anymore. Seriously, it's not a fun or entertaining position to be at all. Sometimes, I feel as a Christian I should extend my grace and love, as a person I should be diplomatic handling any situation but I'm also human and I do feel real emotions, n honestly, it's really annoying when I can't be at ease within my own space.
Yes, it's time to have a new garden. I am taking the stones and throwing it out the window. I was once a shaken leaf, and also once a leaf floating on water not knowing where to go. Not anymore, I'm going to have new roots!
To clean up some important bits of my life.
Gambling. Drugs. No they are not it. I have cleared those ages ago. Don't worry.
I think we all carry baggages, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, we just chuck into the store room (in our case, mind) and leave it at that. The blockage is never cleared, merely filtered because you change a new one. But can we buy ourselves new filters? We're all we have really when you think about it. I say, it is our responsibility therefore to clean it up ourselves. We know the saying it's all dead when the shit hits the fan. Well, same case here. Don't go there.
I think if there is anything about me, is that I'm too nice. I don't stand firm enough at times and always believe in the better of the person or situation. I still believe in that but I know that I have been jaded before but now, with maturity, I see things in a more focused view. No wishy washy bullcrap anymore, that's all. Fair and sound.
I have decided to throw all all materials that have no emotional value anymore to me. Because, I am a person who is highly emotional, the things I keep tend to stir things back to the wrong heart. No, I am not craving for any past relationship at all. It's just that I realize, why keep them when they don't mean anything anymore. So yeah, everything is going to be thrown away. Or burnt by popular choice award but yea I feel that's my choice and need.
I thought about it clear and through. I don't want to carry anymore of this for terming it as 'sentimental value' because I think it's utter rubbish now. We're suppose to live in the present not the past and if I have all these stuff chucked aside somewhere, why keep it in the first place if you don't feel anything for it. Unless you do? Then I knew the answer.
Stalker S is pissing the hell out of me with her random sms-es during the wee hours of the morning. Mysterious caller does the same thing every now then. Mysterious A4 girl who leaves notes on my car when I go to the gym. Like seriously, what the hell man! I am quite up to here where people just laugh about it and think it's all cool. Well, it's not all cool anymore. Seriously, it's not a fun or entertaining position to be at all. Sometimes, I feel as a Christian I should extend my grace and love, as a person I should be diplomatic handling any situation but I'm also human and I do feel real emotions, n honestly, it's really annoying when I can't be at ease within my own space.
Yes, it's time to have a new garden. I am taking the stones and throwing it out the window. I was once a shaken leaf, and also once a leaf floating on water not knowing where to go. Not anymore, I'm going to have new roots!
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